I’ll start by saying this post is ironic since I’m fearful someone other than myself reading it. So, if you are reading this, I decided to listen to myself this time!
Fear is something that everyone experiences throughout their life. When you hear the word “FEAR”, what comes to mind? Maybe a phobia that you have or some trauma you have experienced? For the most part, I believe when we see the word “FEAR”, we automatically read it as a negative thing. Personally, I believe that fear can have a positive impact on us if we choose to let it. Let’s take a look at both sides: the negative and the positive outcomes.
On the negative side, fear can be crippling to us. Maybe it stops you from trying something that could be fun, new, and exciting but it’s terrifying and unknown, so you choose to avoid it. Do you ever fear talking about something because you feel shame and fearful of someone’s response? We make the choice not to deal with that thing, so it gets suppressed and pushed down into the dark until we can’t see it anymore. That doesn’t make it go away though. Negative beliefs that we fear to challenge begin to identify and consume us (maybe you believe that you’re not worthy of being loved, but you are, it just takes hard work and pushing past the fear of being unloved to change that belief).
More on the positive side of things is first to give yourself some grace, because everyone experiences fear! The good thing is, you do have control over it and it does serve a purpose! Maybe fear stopped you from doing something that would have gotten you into trouble or hurt. Also, acknowledging and talking about your fears could be a step on the path to healing and growth. (Growing can be scary as well because we like to be comfortable. It’s just human nature).
Fear can make us stop and take a look at the choice we have in front of us. The choices we make have consequences, but those consequences could be good or bad. We could learn a lesson (good consequence) or hurt ourselves by giving into the fear (bad consequence). Fear sometimes protects us (good consequence), or we could use it as an excuse to avoid healing and growth (bad consequence).
Fear can be overcome, but it’s not always easy. We don’t have to deal with fear on our own and we can ask for help. Maybe for you it’s a friend, parent, sibling, or significant other. Sometimes having a “third party” like a therapist/counselor in your support system can be beneficial as well. There are some important things to recognize when we ask for help. When you ask for help, someone should walk WITH you, not FOR you. You have to be willing to take action, which isn’t as scary with someone by your side. To the one that’s fearful of asking for help, I have something to share with you that I remind myself often. Healing starts with you making the choice to start that process!
You know that saying “faith over fear”? One day I began to see that phrase a little differently. Maybe one meaning is having faith in yourself knowing that the person you want to be is there, but you have to get past the fear and get out of your own way. Getting out of our own way can be a difficult pill to swallow but allow yourself to take back the power of you, who you want to be, and start working to get there. Fear is something we will experience our entire lives. We can find fear at every turn if we want to but that’s not a good or healthy way of living. Fear is normal. Fear is okay. You’re not alone in fear because we all experience it and sometimes bond over it. Overcoming fear is not a small thing. Allow yourself to celebrate that achievement each and every time! Give grace to yourself when you feel that you’ve let fear control your life. You can make the choice to change that now. Have faith in yourself over fear!
